I’ve been having conversations with many different parents about caring for their very sick child (you parents out there are amazing).
I’ve heard countless stories of adventures with hospital stays to painstaking attention to detail about the medication that needs to be doled out. The meticulous care you provide to children is, well, amazing isn’t quite the word to describe you. You all do this in order to guarantee that your kids’ well-being is ensured.
In listening to these skilled, knowledgeable, and informed parents, I hear the details of their children’s procedures, the blood draws, the painstaking steps they take in preparing their children for the little traumas that they have to face daily because of their illnesses. These aren’t things my parents had to worry about when I was growing up. You do your research and can probably recite the newest treatments that may, in some small yet beneficial way, help your child. In this way, you become a partner in the care of your ill child. Which is great! High-five!
What I see, are loving, but weary parents. In some cases, very, very, anxious and stressed parents. Some of the parents I interact with are dealing with an illness that threatens their child’s life. From cancer, to severe allergies, or Type I diabetes. The daily feats their children face impact them, but parents suppress their feelings to stay strong for their children. Also, they do so mostly to be able to function throughout the day. How can you push down these feelings without allowing them to have some effect on you? I say it comes leaking out. In an effort to ensure wellness, the ultimate sacrifice is the parents’ emotional wellbeing.
What nuggets of insight do I have for you?
- Be kind to yourself– Only you know your experience; I know the pressure is strong from the outside world about what is deemed “correct” in terms of parenting standards. There is a strong message regarding how parents should and should not teach their children and for me, it’s always important to know that each parent does things differently. Be kind to yourself. If your child isn’t sleeping by themselves at age 4, there is always time to retrain, especially if your child needs extra soothing right now. Maybe this different perspective needs to apply to you and your standards. Maybe you think you’re the only one dealing with issue A, B, or C. In my experience, there are challenges in every family and there is always a time to focus on helping your child mature.
- Be kind to yourself #2– Can you spare 15 minutes? I always say that a 15-minute nap does wonders to a tired soul. It may be hard waking up, but the energy you gain from a short nap can help you through a trying day. Can’t sleep? What about exercise, making yourself a healthy snack, or taking the time to jot down your feelings to be able to let them go? You’d be amazed how making an honest intention can lift your spirit.
- Please allow us to help you.- There are so many people, teachers, therapist’s, advocates, nurses, and even your good old doctor who want to provide you with help. Are there others out there that might also want to help, but maybe not know how? There is nothing wrong with you reaching out and letting them know.
There is always tomorrow: Did you have a bad day? Did you react in a way that you may not have wanted? That’s ok. Make an honest intention and plea to do better tomorrow. And then do it. Because I firmly believe that everyone is trying to do their best, and if you didn’t get to, try again tomorrow. ?
